So I should probably stop typing now. But y'know I'm fed up of not blogging because I'm not in the right frame of mind. I'm fed up. Full stop.

I went home and it was beyond awesome, I saw so many of the people I love and care about, I got to be myself, I got to relax and hey I could understand everything, and despite reverse culture shock seriously biting me in the behind, I loved every second of it and it gave me a perspective on life out here.

Its rubbish. It's lonely and I'm too shy/ scared to do anything about it.

Today its my best friends birthday, Her 21st.  You only get one of those, and I'm missing it. I missed my own brothers 18th birthday and I'm missing out on being with friends.

"Ooo but you're on this amazing adventure." If one more person says that I will not be responsible for punching them in the face, because this adventure is punctuated by long periods of unadulterated loneliness and tedium in which you can't find a good pasty to save your life, your made to feel guilty about not enjoying yourself or speaking the sodding language all the time because frankly your head hurts they speak better English than you do German, (mother I don't care about my language right now) and you have no idea where to start looking for them because hanging out with your students, (those closest in age to you) isn't a good idea and quite frankly there and mindset gap between you and them, and it is kinda like hanging out with your little brothers friends.

Why I am I writing this? to prove to myself next year when I hate essays and life, it could be so much worse, at least I have people to whine and comiserate with.

I have another 15 weeks of hell to go. It may as well be eternity.

I want to come home now.