How to tell that you are a victim of final year.

1. You have not left the house other than to go to the corner shop in several days. 

2. When you do try to leave the house your keys have gone into hibernation. 

3. Your house has been procrasticleaned to within an inch of its life except essay corner. 

4. You have an essay corner

5. You've been sat at a computer so long that having to form actual sentences has become a chore. 

6. Your best friend can't stand your ear worm any longer 

7. Your best friend is running round randomly shouting the name they just made up for your idiolect. "Bethanese!!!"

8. You've run out of biscuits. The world has come to an end. 

9. You still have no idea what you're actually talking about in this essay; despite having more research than someone trying to cure cancer and about 1000 words on it. 

10. You still have 2 more essays to write. 

11. Going to town is a major event. 

12. Your bedroom looks like a bomb exploded in your wardrobe. 

13. There is too much blood in your coffee stream. 

14. Your readings are so confusing/boring you frequently fall asleep on them. 

15. You are procrastiblogging. 

16. Your social life mainly consists of having other people in the room whilst you stare blankly/beaver away at your essay.

17. You are married to the library. It is a tempestuous relationship. 

18. Even your leisure reading has been consumed by your degree.

19. You're so busy academically you've forgotten to apply for any jobs

20. You dream in your subject(s), because dreaming about teaching the IPA* in German to French toddlers whilst chasing a big bird round the library is perfectly normal. 

*International Phonetic Alphabet